Are you being a good single?

Playing as a single can be a nervewracking and downright scary experience given the capacity for things to go wrong. There’s the pressure to play well, or the awkwardness of spending four hours with someone new, not to mention the risk of being paired with someone who’s a complete ass. Whether you’re there alone to work on your game, or you just couldn’t get a group together, there is no telling what kind of people you will be partnered with: Slow Play Steve, Practice Swing Pete, Triple Bogey Tom. The possibilities are endless, and not always in a good way. But there are specific things that you can do to ensure that no matter who it is, you have an enjoyable round.

Time to give space, and time to mesh

When you first meet your day’s playing partners, always introduce yourself and shake their hand. Even if your name is the only thing you say to them all day, starting the round off cordially and respectfully will ensure a positive foundation and some good mojo for the next 18. Here, from just a few seconds of interaction, you will also be able to gauge how social your days’ playing partners will be. Picking up on things like eagerness to introduce, amount of questions or attempts at starting a conversation will help you figure out how social to be. Maybe you hit it off right away, are both alumni from the same school and both like mayo on your burgers. Or, you get a gruff “Nice to meet you, good luck” with nothing more said. Also remember to note the responses that they give to your questions. Either way, you know just from this quick interaction whether this is a group to give space to, or a group to mesh with.

Rule of thumb: Don’t ever feel forced to interact, but don’t feel scared to strike up a conversation.

Play off of their demeanor

Although it is important to make a first impression, there are going to be a lot of emotions present throughout the next four-plus hours. Unlike your friends and family, you won’t know how to deal with them the right way. If the guy makes a great shot, don’t hesitate to commend him for it; the difficulty comes when deciding what to say after a bad shot. Sometimes a word of encouragement may be patronizing to one person while another person may look at you and ask why you didn’t say anything to them at all. Staying in the moment during your round will ensure that your actions and words will be guided by context clues from your playing partners.

Rule of thumb: Don’t say anything about a person’s shot until the ball has stopped moving.

Respect the groupings

This entry has two meanings; respect the group you’re in, and respect the group you’re with. As a single, sometimes you are prepared to get out there by yourself and get your holes done quickly. If it’s a busy day, that’s unlikely to happen, and there’s a good chance you’ll be paired with others. While you may be itching to get the round on, respect the group the starter has put you in. But, if you are playing with people who already know each other, it’s also good to respect the group you are with. As the third wheel of the round, I always find it nice to give them some space throughout the round to really be themselves. Let yourself be a part of the group but not constantly interacting at every single moment. If it’s good company, then congrats. Just remember that you are not there to audition for their friend group.

Rule of thumb: Never ditch your playing partners without good reason.

Toe the line on jokes and jibes

The golf course is a great place to let loose and trade jabs with friends, but going back and forth with strangers poses some problems. How far can you go, what may offend them, what do they find funny, there are many uncertainties when trying to lighten the mood with a few jokes. One sentiment I follow, as someone who likes to crack jokes but can’t always tell what is too far, is to never go further than the people I’m playing with have gone previously. You can also gauge their reactions and responses to a self-deprecating joke to see how lightly they take jokes about level of play.

Rule of thumb: If you don’t know the person, don’t insult their outfit.

Ask before doing: mulligans, music, drops, etc.

Everyone plays with different rules and allowances during the round, and a lot of that is hard to pick up on just by watching or listening. When it comes to explicit things like rulings, mulligans, music, it is always a smart idea to ask beforehand. Getting a clear cut answer about one of these topics is the best way to ensure that there are no discrepancies, slowdowns, or disagreements. Golfers are a very subjective and hard-to-please bunch, but not all are quick to anger, so don’t be afraid to make a mistake.

Rule of thumb: Never assume; always err on the side of caution.

By using these steps (and good judgment) when playing with strangers, you can turn your feelings of uncertainty into feelings of satisfaction and gratitude. At worst, you are able to successfully distance yourself from your partners in a positive way. At best, you’ve made a few new golf buddies with plans to play again. The most important thing to keep in mind with any playing partner, stranger or not, is to never let your level of play dictate your mood. That is a surefire way to kill a round, even after implementing all the tips from this article. Keep a level head and a positive attitude and you will be halfway there to making any round as a single as fun as one with friends.

Rule of thumb: Nobody cares how good you are as long as you can keep the pace.